Morty's Cabin - Parents Suck, BIG TIME!

Dear and Gentle Breeders:

Today I am a man. No, I'm not thirteen, nor am I Jewish. Rather, I am 62 years old and have only recently realized that America the beautiful, my cherished Republic, has become a cesspool. Yes, in more ways than one or two.

Immigration has become one of the biggest problems of our times. Ten years ago I lived in a community in southern Westchester County in New York State. At that time there were numerous Mexican and South American people in that part of the County. They would stand by their pick up place every morning, waiting for work. Every contractor from miles around knew that the spot in front of the Hartsdale Deli was the place to hire day laborers.

These laborers were capable of doing just about anything. Painting, carpentry ... name it. And they wanted work so bad many would be in tears if they were not selected that day.

Today, there are so many immigrants, largely undocumented, that there is not enough work for all the day laborers needing employment. Oh they are still there waiting, but in huge numbers. They previously made wonderful employees. I hired a factory full of assembly line workforce for the firm I worked for at the time. A company called, Self Powered Lighting. We hired only those with papers and they turned out to be better than any other ethnic group, including American Citizens.

Times have changed, however. No longer is there sufficient work for these people. The drug problem among them is phenomenal and crimes perpetrated by this particular group is extraordinarily high. Hartsdale has become dangerous, where once it was among the safest and most desired places to live. No longer.

Yet the present administration continues it's policy of unabated illegal immigration and does so with a passion. The purpose of which is beyond my ken. Many states in the Republic are having serious crime problems stemming from illegal immigrants. And the drug problem is compounded by illegal use of substances as well as importing drugs into our country for sale. Illegal's use the drugs and pay for them by selling them. A built-in magic marketing program at it's best. No Classic Coke nonsense for these drug lords. Nuh uh. Take one off the streets and ten more are waiting in the wings.

Hence the cesspool. In the community in which we now reside, in another county located in the mountains of New York State, suffered it's first murder since it's incorporation in 1823. Down the mountain on which I live, there is a cemetery in which are interred men who fought in the Civil War and the War of 1812. Someday I intend to place a tape recorder in that cemetery, hoping to find some EVP on the machine when I pick it up. Who knows?

People in our nation have become idiots. Broken men and women who live to work, not live for their families. Dinner is in front of the TV if indeed there is a dinner with the family members present. The fast food restaurants in the valley below fill up with two groups each dinner time. One being the restless and bored children of working parents with no where to go. These children of course, own nice cars, which have been souped up (usually made to sound and look souped up but function just like the stock model). They plant themselves aside their macho machines and rev the engine. I suppose to see which is the loudest. There one may witness kids smoking pot, snorting white nose candy and worse.

The guys look rather strange to me, dressed in pants which miraculously hang and manage to stay, on their hips. The girls manage to keep private body parts where they belong, inside their clothing, but very close to breaking out. Very close. There is little to nothing left to the imagination except what their ears and noses must have looked lie before bearing what look like pounds of sterling. Not to mention tongues.

The other group which attends this ... managerie ... are families. Yuppers. Families. Usually young children and Mom in their new van or SUV, the latter of which can with one tankful of fuel, sustain the city of Peoria for a week. Of course, the kids just love the Fastburger with fries and a thick shake. And they show it. Obese is not adequate enough a word with which to describe these kids. As for Mom .. she's anorexic and acts as if she will have a nervous breakdown any second. Screaming and shouting at the top of her lungs at children who refuse to obey and let Mom know about their plans to break something. Or someone. Mom, two or three little ones and that huge SUV cannot carry the garbage left over. So Mom freely throws the used up bags on the parking lot Macadam. Here, the kids learn to do the same.

It's almost amusing to see the SUV taking off in a cloud of expensive CO and other pollutants also venting a steady stream of trash as it leaves the property. Nice huh? Now the kids, well! The kids see what Mom is doing and next time they have a handful of garbage, guess what they'll do?

As if all of this were not enough, and it should be, Dad is out working. Mom is apparently too busy with whatever to prepare a meal for the kids so off she goes to the MBFACHMCSSADD fast food place (McBurgerFlame and Cholesterol Heavenly Mad Cow Super Sandwich and Delayed Diabetes Restaurant). Boy the stuff tastes good.

SuperSize Me, Please.

My doctor once told me that fatty food is actually habit forming. Just like heroin. Only more insidious. Honest. Oh well. What the hell. The kids have miles to go before they die. And by the way, that gas guzzling SUV (I actually saw a Hummer try to squeeze in the drive through once with one child and one Mom), the gas guzzling SUV has only an average of 0.9 miles to the nearest McBurger Flamed Cholesterol Heaven.

Thus far, we've accomplished only a little. We've described the misuse of overpriced, gas guzzling SUV's and Hummers for the short drive to Cholesterol Heaven. We've described inexplicable illegal immigration and by the way, the illegals are the ones manning the drive through windows.

"I would like a Prime Burger with super size fries and a super size thick, thicker and thickest shake."
"Ju wanna Prime e-chicken with onion rings and whaddya wanna drink, Senior."
"No, NO NO NO NO NO! I don't want chicken I want ...... " etc.

When Dad arrives home at about 11PM after dinner and martini's with his buxom sexy Terri, he of course engages in conversation with his wifey, conversation which turns into a shouting match whilst the kids are upstairs watching porn on their satellite TV. Porn is not always porn, sometimes it's just a made for TV movie with T&A well exposed, as well as other essential body parts. The kids have no problem with this, as they are busy trying it out in school anyway, where they are also learning to smoke pot or worse. After school, if they are too young for the mall, they go straight to some 'company' which specializes in giving love and affection to toddlers whose parents are too busy to do the job.

A day in the life of fools.

What's the first sign of old age? When a person says something like, "When I was a boy ... " Guilty as charged.

Somehow, it is my belief that the issue of love, touchy feely affection and parental security is the place where it all happens. With the aforementioned missing, it breaks down into the mess we see around us now. When I was a kid, I always wanted that black leather jacket, the one with all the silver buckles? And a hair do that allowed the hair to fall in a sort of whirling wave at the center of the forehead. At the back, it looked like the coolie side of a duck. Which is why they called it a DA haircut. Duck's Ass.

SPECIAL NOTE FOR A SPECIAL FREIND: When your kid treats you like you were the beastmaster bad guy, the know-nothing dweeb who knows less about her (or him), and this after being the best Dad in the world, when that happens, you know you've done a magnificent job. And it's only a short time before that child ... make that, little grown up ... really grows up and begins to understand his or her Dad in ways that will make you proud.

It was I think, Will Rogers who said something to the effect that his father became smarter as the years flew by. By the time Will was old enough to have to trim his nose hairs, his Dad had become a veritable genius. This will happen to you, too.

Speaking of DA hair cuts ...
Now however, the only ass is the parent. And not all of 'em look like a duck's ass. Some of 'em look pretty good. Like college professors. Poets and rocket scientists. Note the fact that not everyone who is a DA has to look like one. Most DA's are in disguise. They look like professionals and parents. They do however, act like the end letter in the doublet, 'DA.'

Let the games begin.

Morty


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